SHAY MILLS
Opinions Editor
Sure, you can enjoy a nice Coke, if you like drinking syrup and sugar. Coke is the definition of too sweet for anybody’s taste. Oh, and let us not forget the many drug rumors that come behind the ingredients of that stuff. Let us just refer to it as crack for now. Crack, also known as Coke, should not even be considered soda. Every store should place it in the juice aisle because that is exactly what it is, fizzy juice. I take one sip of that stuff and I immediately feel every cavity I have ever gotten filled open back up. And no parents in their right mind would ever let their children have it either. Not even as a treat. One can is equal to approximately a couple hundred calories and two weeks of bad acne. Neutrogena and physicians are about the only people who have a good reason to support this stuff because it brings them so much money between the gigantic pimples and failed livers people get from drinking crack, excuse me, Coke. Pepsi is clearly the better choice here. First of all it actually tastes like soda. Second, it doesn’t have an addiction connected to it like Coke does. It actually quenches your thirst like a good soda is supposed to. One can and you are good to go unlike with crack, excuse me, Coke, which you have to drink at least two or three cans of in order to feel satisfied. And third, Pepsi cans look way better than Coke cans. That may not be important to some people. But to those who enjoy a good soda on a hot summer day, a cute can goes a long way. Who wants to drink the same stuff polar bears drink anyways? By the way, polar bears seem to be endangered. I wonder why.
ELIZABETH SIMS
Social Media Editor
It is the age-old question: Coke or Pepsi? If you can only choose one or the other, that has the potential to be a pretty big life decisions.
Oh, that college has Pepsi? You probably should not go there. Getting married and having an open bar at the reception? People ask for rum and Coke, not rum and Pepsi. Looking for some consistency during your hectic life? Coke has never changed their logo, unlike a certain aforementioned company.
Coke really is the pinnacle of what is good and right in the world. First of all, they have polar bears. Well, I don’t know if they actually own polar bears and keep them about the office, but who doesn’t want to drink a soda after watching a commercial with polar bears in red scarves playing in the snow?
And it is not just any soda you want, it is a Coca-Cola. You want an ice-cold Coke, just like those very fashionable polar bears.
Another reason Coke is better than Pepsi: other countries have machines that dispense the superior soda when you hug it or smile. How great would it be to roll up to a Coke dispenser without any quarters but, with a flash of your pearly whites, you get a Coke free of charge. It’s the dream of all moneyless college students.
Also, when it comes to bringing happiness to the community, The Coca-Cola Foundation is one of the most involved philanthropic organizations ever created by a beverage company.
They have donated millions of dollars to clean-water research and supply, access to exercise facilities in support of proper health and nutrition as well as made extreme efforts to decrease educational deficiencies and school dropout rates.
So in the end, not only is Coke the best-tasting, more refreshing cola on the market, but it also promotes the advancement of the human race, one smile and one sip at a time.
