Step-By-Step: Revolution Rules

By Douglas Hardman

Want to avoid a future like “The Hunger Games” or “The Giver”? Want to prevent dictatorship and denial of all freedom? If you follow some very simple steps, you can successfully overthrow your government before things begin looking like a dystopian young-adult novel (but perhaps minus the terrible love story).

  1. Have a Cause Worth Fighting For

Like all good rebellions, you need a good cause to stand for. For today, inequality, health care, the economy and even Republicans are a good enough cause to get a revolution brewing. Simply make a stand and push it forward passionately. A good way is viral marketing. Make a YouTube video, or start a Kickstarter for donations. Make what you’re fighting for so important that overthrowing your government is the only way to see it through.

  1. Find Your Mockingjay

Once you have a cause to stand behind, find the face of the rebellion. This must be a very persuasive person, good with words, attractive and ambitious. This cannot be just any person you find on the street. You need someone who can visually represent the cause, someone people can rally behind. It will have to be someone a whole population would be able to trust and put their lives on the line for. You shouldn’t have to coach the people on how to rebel. The desire should come straight from the heart to fight for what’s right.

  1. Rally the Troops

Once you bring the face of your cause to the public, people will start listening and they will start following. All it takes is a passionate speech, a rebel hand gesture and some fire to strike people’s attention. Once you have it, you had better hold onto it if you expect to get the rebellion off the ground.

  1. Get a Theme Song

This is kind of just for personal flair, but it could be key for the cause. Whether it’s a whistle, a chant, or a song of a man hanging from a tree, you need something a group of people can sing along to. Some personal choices: “The Phoenix” by Fall Out Boy, “Underdog” by Imagine Dragons, “The World Around You” by Papa Roach, or even “Safe and Sound” by Taylor Swift. Whatever song you choose as your anthem, make it loud and proud.

  1. Strategy, Strategy, Strategy

Now, you got their attention, but it’s time to go on the offense, with propaganda films, recruitment and even attacks, if necessary. Have a list of demands, and do whatever it takes to have them met. You want Congress gone? Get them out. Violence is not necessarily the route to use, but the minute they shoot one bullet at you, prepare for war. They will go down swinging, and so should you.

  1. Negotiate

Not everything will go over smoothly. Compromise could be very crucial in getting your cause the big “W.” If things start going astray, make sure you have a backup plan. Be prepared to make a sacrifice for the greater good in order to keep going in the right direction. Do not negotiate unless it is absolutely necessary.

  1. Always Be Direct and Forward

Keeping secrets from your people is a sure-fire way of getting an arrow shot into your skull. Be honest and open about what you’re trying to achieve, even to the enemy. Make it short and simple, to show that your demands are serious and you mean business. What is the point in lying about what you want? This is an all-out revolution; there’s no going back at this point.

  1. Keep the Body Count Low

War is inevitable. People don’t like it when you stand up to them, so expect bloodbaths. But keep the body count as low as you possibly can. Don’t ignite a war, just be prepared for it. Besides, in our government, the other side will obviously be the first ones firing, since they will literally shoot anything that has a different voice. Never shoot first; let them be the bad guys (that’s the whole point of this revolution, right?).

  1. Keep Your Promises

Do not make empty threats, do not go back on your word, and do not ever, ever say something you don’t mean. It’s all in the wording. You say something: follow through! You say you are going to bring change? There had better be change! You say you are going to destroy Congress? Destroy it! You say your government won’t be a dictatorship? It had better not be a dictatorship! Because the minute you go back on your word, your revolution will turn against you.

I hope this has been enlightening. Sometimes you have got to take a stand for what’s right, even if it takes extreme measures. Maybe a new system needs to take hold. If we want something, we have got to go for it. So, just follow these steps and I can assure you that your revolution against the evil government could go off without a hitch.*

*Results may vary