Fish Out of Water: Make America Hate Again

Val Miller | Marlin Chronicle
Val Miller | Marlin Chronicle

By Doug Hardman

Guys, let’s be honest: Donald Trump is the best presidential candidate to come about since George W. Bush. How could you not see that? He wants to make America great again. Let’s go back to the olden days of slavery and oppression and equal rights only for rich, old white men.
Donald Trump is a revolutionary idealist. He knows what America needs. We obviously need immigrants out of here because we deserve those jobs. Like, who cares if these workers have families back home they are trying support or bring them over to gain citizenship. That giant wall is such a good idea. A fortress around America ensures a secure and safe future for us. And we don’t need outside resources, we can just grow our own food and be self-sufficient. We can afford to do that because we’re America, duh.
And, boy, is he right about those Mexicans and those Iraqi natives. I bet they all work for ISIS. He knows. He can sniff them out like a bloodhound. He’s gonna make sure we track them down and get rid of them once and for all because everyone that’s Muslim is clearly ISIS for sure.
He’s also really business savvy. His reality TV show is pure American gold. He knows how to run a business and get rid of the ignorant and stupid people that drag them down. People that think they’re smarter than Trump are actually really, really dumb. I mean, how could anyone be smarter than the man who wants to enclose America in a fortress of solitude. I know that when I wanted to get my best work done, I built a fortress of solitude in my bedroom, but my mom would always yell at me and tell me to stop making racist comments to the gardener. She didn’t understand me like Trump does now.
Everyone needs to stop hating Donald Trump and vote for him. He’s the smartest man to run for president and is the best person to run this nation right back into the ground where we belong. Like an ostrich, we are majestic yet prone to fear. But once he is President, we don’t have to fear anymore. Let’s make America hate again. Let’s make America white again. Let’s make America great again.
Total sidenote: his daughter is a total babe, I can see why he would want to make intercourse with her.